Love and peace!
Vash, from trigun, and ruffy, from one piece are my role models.
my worthless ramblings...
Leave now before its too late…
i mean, i love you so much. i care about you so much. it hurts me to see you do those things, say those things. i dont understand why you do those things. i dont understand. i want to make you happy, always. your smile brings happiness to my heart. to see you happy... is… just... so… wonderful. i want to be there for you when you need someone. to take care of you when youre sick. i want to hold you, and tell you i love you. tell you everythings going to be all right. i want to fall asleep holding you, so i know that you exist and youre just not my imagination that youre mine. so i know that its not just a dream that youre there with me. That you, so great and special to me, is real. i want to have great times with you. go to places holding your hand in mine. to experience new things with you. i would do anything for you. and when youre away, ill be sad. when youre sad, ill be sad. Just to see you for a minute, a second, ill do anything for. I promise to try and make your life easier. I want to. I want to do everything for you. Do work for you. Do anything and everything for you. I promise to keep the toilet seat down. to read your horoscope everyday. To ask how your day was. I wont say if youre a cat person that cats cant save you from drowning but dogs can. Ill buy you a present beforehand so if you have a bad day I can surprise you. Ill always remember your birthday and special occasions. I will love any name that you want for our baby. I will hope for which ever gender you would rather have. I want to grow old with you. I love you soooo much. I want to be with you, to hold you, forever and ever. I want to save you from the world.
Why is the world this way? Doesn’t everyone just want love in the end? Why… why… why do people do the things they do? Why give themselves that name, that reputation? people do stupid things for stupid reasons... but I care about everyone. I feel sad for everyone that’s sad… why do they ruin their lives the way they do… I said I’d stop caring… I said that I wouldn’t interfere. But I cant stop caring… everyone needs a hug. i want to help everyone...
If I die tomorrow, will anyone even notice? Will anyone even remember me? People will probably forget in a few days… if I suddenly left, died or disappeared will anyone miss me? Will anyone think of me and wonder where I went? Will anyone care? im always the one initiating, saying hi or inviting. I never get invited unless I say something about it. And when u do, of course its after Ive said something about it. Because you feel bad, or sad for me, never because you wanted to. No one actually does care, so you should just stop pretending. just stop pretending. So if I did leave no one would actually care. no one. Its always after ive said something. Always. Im just a burden to everyone around me. Everyones lives would be better without me. But I know if you left I would care… a lot. I think of you all the time, whether you believe me or not. When youre gone and I havent seen you ill always wonder where you went. Ill wonder if youre all right. Ill wonder if you’ve thought about me… ill wonder if ill ever see you again and ill get worried that I wont.
Im sorry for everything bad ive done wrong. Im so sorry. Im so sorry if ive ever done anything to hurt you or make you feel bad. I couldve done better… Im so sorry…
My only fear… my only fear is that im afraid that I cant keep my promises. I want to so much but im afraid I will grow weak and disappoint you. If that happens I don’t what ill do… I never forgive myself.
I don’t have anything anymore. I thought I actually had something, something good in my life. I thought that good things were actually happening to me. But I was wrong. The good turned to bad. Everything in my life always turned bad. I have nothing good anymore. No reason to stay around anymore.
How can I save you? How? How can I when… when…
Im so lost… so lost in a world gone dark…
someone… someone… please save me… please…
I beg of you…